


In quel posto che non c'è

by Bibby



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Car Sex, Infidelity, M/M, Schweinski
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-18
Updated: 2014-07-18
Packaged: 2018-02-09 09:59:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1978602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bibby/pseuds/Bibby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cologne, 2010. Lukas feels down after a loss to Borussia, Bastian pays him an unexpected visit and tries to cheer him up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In quel posto che non c'è

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in Italian three years ago, but I decided to translate it and put it on there after all the Schweinski moments at the WC. English is not my first language, so there may be some mistakes. The title is that of a beautiful Italian song by Negramaro (Here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UGMdj_aQa_w ).  
> Enjoy!

_Some men never think of it._  
 _You did. You'd come along_  
 _And say you'd nearly brought me flowers_  
 _But something had gone wrong._   

 _The shop was closed. Or you had doubts -_  
 _The sort that minds like ours  
dream up incessantly. You thought_  
 _I might not want your flowers._  

_It made me smile and hug you then._   
_Now I can only smile._   
_But, Look, the flowers you nearly bought_   
_Have lasted all this while._   
_  
Wendy Cope_

 

It’s morning and Lukas is in bed. Last night his team lost against Borussia. He came home right after the game, finding Louis and Monika awake and waiting for him. He hugged his son, tried to smile to his girlfriend and lay in bed, angry and exhausted, falling asleep almost immediately.

Now he’s still in the same position he’s fallen asleep in, arms buried under the pillow and body tangled in the blankets, and he’s dreaming. It’s not a bad dream: there’s South Africa, a stadium, a ball on the penalty spot, Lukas himself kicking it with all the strength he has and… _GOOAAL!_ The ball is hitting the net, perfect shot. The stadium turns Germany white and his team mates are all over him to cheer: they’ve reached the final - the fucking FINAL! Then there’s only the chant of his people and the deafening buzz of vuvuzelas bursting in his ears.

Lukas wakes up a little after that, barely realizing that he was not awakened by vuvuzelas but by his phone that has just stopped vibrating on his night stand.

He sits up on his bed and he’s immediately forced to close his eyes, bothered by the light coming through the shutter he forgot to lower the previous night. He yawns as quietly as he can, trying not to wake the other half of the bed, which includes Louis that - he notices with an indulgent smile - must have dropped there in the middle of the night.  
He steals a moment from time to look at the sleeping faces of his loved ones and then, once his sight has finally adjusted to the morning brightness, he finally takes the phone in his hand. It feels like taking hold of his whole life and shaking it up violently like an orange juice, bringing to the surface all the slop lying on the bottom – because there’s a text and the sender is Bastian.

 _I’ll be in Cologne tonight_ , it reads, and it takes Lukas a monstrous effort to read those few letters, because of his sight still blurred from sleep. (Because of his eyes suddenly tired and almost glistening). _I’ll be in Cologne tonight_ , it reads, and the sender is actually him, Basti. (Not Bastian, not Schweinsteiger, he saved him Basti because that’s what he calls him when they’re making love). _I’ll be in Cologne tonight_ , it reads, and Lukas rereads it a billion times, as he cannot fathom the reason of all this. He cannot fathom why Bastian is getting in touch now, after weeks and weeks of icy silence; why carrying on with their messy relationship when they know there’s no future for them, not really, not together. Why, despite everything, a treacherous hope took hold of his heart as soon as he read that stupid text?

After a few moments, spent trying to grasp the news, Lukas starts worrying that it’s all been a joke, that when he sent it, Bastian was drunk or just wanting to make fun of him. Swallowing his fears, he briefly types _Really?_ , and tries not to think about how pathetic he must sound.  
However, the answer comes after a few seconds: _Yep, really ;)._ Only then, Lukas lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding (he is not so worried about waking Monika or the kid anymore) and allows himself to feel totally, stupidly happy.

*

Lukas spends the morning running about and making preparations that would be more suitable for a wedding, fighting with his facial muscles that seem ready to break into a grin every five seconds.

When Monika wakes up and enters the living room, stunning in her plain blue night dress, he runs towards her and kisses her lips gently.

«Morning » he beams, stroking her light hair, « Guess who’s coming for dinner? »

Monika furrows her brows, skeptical and vaguely amused, then shrugs apologetically.  
«No ideas? »

«Nah » she shakes her head and laughs a bit.

«Not even one? » Lukas urges, an infectious smile playing on his lips. «Basti! Uh – Bastian, I mean, Schweinsteiger! »

«Oh, I’m glad to hear about that! » She smiles sweetly at the news, but doesn’t seem interested in learning anything more about it.

Lukas gazes at her affectionately one last time, before turning on his heels as he remembers he should tell the housemaid to take out the silverware for the evening. His happiness seems to be blinding. (If he had paid more attention, he would’ve noticed the concern in Monika’s eyes, a shadow bound to disappear only when Bastian will go away.)

Around noon, Lukas decides to wake his son. He enters the room with an elaborated plan of action (mainly tickling) in mind, just like on every other Sunday when he doesn’t have a match.

He knows much too well that by now Louis must be completely awake, feigning sleep only to play with his daddy before going downstairs for breakfast.

«Wake up, champ! » Lukas shouts, before bouncing on the bed gracelessly, and he feels a bit like those A+ fathers featuring in American movies.

Louis, head buried in the pillow to prevent any laughter from escape, tries to be as still as he can, even when Lukas lifts up his blanket and starts to tickle the sole of his bare foot. Lukas knows this will not last long: after a few seconds, indeed, the kid sits up and starts giggling between his arms.

They lie down once again, their breaths short from too much laughing.

«Uncle Basti is coming tonight. » Lukas announces, and thinks that maybe his son can understand what he’s feeling better than anyone else in the world. (Happiness is for kids, after all).

He isn’t wrong, and soon he sees his same bright smile appearing on the boy’s face. Louis wants to know all the anecdotes about his best friend and Lukas is more than happy to comply.  They stay like this for a lot of time, so much that Lukas almost forgets about the big event and Louis skips breakfast, going downstairs when it’s already time for lunch.

*

Lukas can’t wait for the evening to arrive. During the afternoon, the bell rings twice and both times Lukas’ expectations are disappointed as he opens the door, finding in front of him first Louis’ babysitter and then the postman.

Monika hands him a clean light blue shirt, still warm from ironing.

«Wear this » she says «You become so excited every time Bastian visits! If I didn’t know better, I’d think you have a crush on him. »

Lukas cracks a smile, and doesn’t reply. He thinks he loves Monika because she’s the perfect woman, caring and so, so beautiful. (Lukas loves Bastian because he’s loud and always smiling, and obnoxious at times, just like a little kid. He loves him for the tiny freckles on his pale skin, that seem to appear and disappear with every variation in light. Because, in his arms, life always seems a bit brighter.)

The bell rings for the third time around eight and Lukas throws himself towards the threshold to open the door. This time it’s Basti out there, Lukas can feel it – maybe he recognized the way he rings the bell, or maybe a bit of his smell sneaked into the house from beneath the door.

He suddenly feels nervous, but then he shakes his head, sighs and tries to breath out some of his worries. He opens the door, his hand barely shaking as he takes hold of the handle, and finally sees Bastian standing in front of him.

«’Evening » Bastian says, a tiny smile playing on his thin lips.

Lukas stays still and steals another moment, this time to gaze at the third big love of his life. Basti is still at the door, holding a wrapped present and a small bouquet, his chin buried into a big scarf, smiling with his eyes. And it’s there, with him. It’s there and the realization hits Lukas like a sun ray in a cloudy sky, like good news nobody was hoping for, like a kiss stolen without any warning.

«Hey » he manages to say in the end and eyes the flowers with a doubtful expression. 

«Tulips, for Monika. » Basti explains, but he offers them to him and Lukas takes them with an almost shy smile, as if they were for him. «This one instead is for Louis, just a little gift, you know, I saw it in a shop and… »

But Lukas doesn’t let him finish and hugs him tight, burying his nose into Bastian’s neck and inhaling deeply.

« I’m so happy you came, » he murmurs and awkwardly kisses his jaw, and then he pouts a bit. «Even though you never have any gifts for me! »

« I don’t count as a present, do I? » Bastian jokes, his warm breath tickling Lukas’ ear.

Finally Lukas takes a step behind and feels himself blushing a bit (Basti is the only person in the world who makes him do _that_.)  
«Louis, Monika! Uncle Bastian’s here! » he cheers, and watches amusedly as his son throws himself down the stairs and right into his best friend’s arms.

Some moments later Louis is unwrapping his present – a shiny red toy car that must have cost a fortune – and Monika has set the flowers in a vase at the center of the dining table, where a magnificent dinner is waiting to be eaten. Lukas becomes increasingly sure that someone must have moved Christmas forward this year.

Dinner goes by quickly, he doesn’t pay much attention to Monika’s attempts to chat with his best friend. She seems tireless, incessantly asking him about: Sarah, the team, Munich, Sarah, have you thought about making the great step?, Sarah, _Sarah?!_ Basti answers politely to every question, but he is not at ease. Lukas notices and does his best to give him some sort of relief. He slides his leg close to Bastian’s under the table, and starts to tell Louis one of his silliest jokes, keeping his voice loud so that his best friend is able to hear as well-

Soon is time for dessert, a _sachertorte_ worth a thousand calories a piece, that Bastian all but devours, an orgasmic expression painted on his face.  And  watching him, even though Lukas feels full from the dinner, he cannot help being angry of another kind of food.

He needs Basti. He needs him so much he can’t think about anything else. He keeps telling himself that his friend didn’t come here for _that_ and that even if Basti left now without even a fucking kiss, he would be happy all the same. Only that. Only that – and he feels sick thinking about it in Monika and Louis’ presence – he misses making love to Basti so much.

«Hey Poldi! Are you here? I asked you if you were going to eat that. » his best friend’s voice brings him back to reality, and Lukas feels like he has just woken up from a very long dream.

When Basti eats his piece of cake as well and performs in a cocoa painted smile, Lukas is dying to kiss him stupid. However, he smiles instead and feels good all the same.

*

«Lukas. »

He hears Basti calling him as soon as they leave the house. He said to Monika they were going to get _something to drink_ , but obviously it’s not the case. Since Lukas came back to Cologne, it has never been the case.

«Lukas » Bastian repeats, grabbing him by the sleeve of his coat and tugging until they are facing each other.

«Bast- » Lukas begins, but is silenced by his best friend’s lips on his, his hands stroking the back of his neck, and he forgets what he was about to say.

«Fuck, Poldi. I couldn’t hold back any more. »

«You’re crazy. » Lukas mutters, blushing a bit, but a smile escapes his lips anyway.

«And you, instead of insulting _me_ , could open your fucking car as I’m freezing my ass out here. » Bastian replies and puts his cold hands on Lukas’ face in spite. «Aww… you’re warm. »

And Lukas, feeling his blush cool under those hands, wonders how Bastian can always, even if unintentionally, fix things in his life.  
«Uh, what about the place we’ve been to the last time? » he asks, once they’re in the car, turning the heat on at the same time.

His best friend is sprawled on the passenger seat and seems busy humming the pop tune currently playing on the radio.

«Uhm, you mean that one with _teddy bears_ sheets? Christ, it felt like shagging in kindergarten. » He finally replies.

«We weren’t that much older when we started, anyway. » Lukas points out, a hint of nostalgia in his voice.

«Ouch. Don’t make me think about it! »

Actually, both of them could never forget about their first night, about their teenager bodies in a much too big bed, about that first kiss a bit drunk and a bit not, about eyes open in the darkness and moans exhaled between pleasure and pain.

«Was it that horrible? »

«No… yes. Fuck yes, I didn’t walk straight for like a whole week. »

«But we’ve made progress after that, didn’t we? » Lukas suggests cheekily, winking at him.

Bastian doesn’t reply, he leans over and whispers softly in his ear: «But I’m happy we did it, that time, for everything that came after, you know? »

Lukas is taken aback, mutters a reply that gets lost into the melody of the love song playing on the radio.

«And anyway, I’m fine with doing it right here, if you want. » Bastian adds absent-mindedly, a few minutes later. They don’t say anything else until they reach a safe place, in the countryside just outside of town.

The first noise to break the silence, however, it’s not Lukas’ voice nor Bastian’s, but the sound his jeans make against the dashboard as he lifts up and turns for Lukas to take his place.  Then there’s the sound the seat makes as its back slides down, and the double click of the car light as Lukas turns it on and Bastian off barely a moment later, worried that, even in the middle of nowhere, someone might see them.

«I don’t like that I can’t see you, Basti. » Lukas complains against his best friend’s neck.

Bastian is now sitting in his lap and Lukas holds him tightly by the hips.

«But you can hear me, and smell me, and feel me and… taste me. » Bastian explains and leans in to kiss him on the mouth.

Lukas moans a bit and bites his lower lip, lets his tongue slide into his best friend’s mouth, in an open and almost dirty kiss.

«Uh… that sounds like a good deal. »

Despite the lack of space, they manage to take their clothes off – shifting from moaning to laughing in a matter of seconds.

Lukas can’t get off of his jeans and they remain rolled messily at his feet, intertwined with Bastian’s heels; but he forgets all about it as soon as the other’s lips start playing with his ear.

Lukas is about to close his eyes when he notices the dim moonlight enlightening Bastian’s features – he’s so beautiful and his expression confirms what Lukas had been suspecting since the first kiss they shared today: Basti is dying to be taken by him.

«Basti » he calls, without a proper reason, while his best friend has started to plant kisses all over him – on his neck, his jaw line, his jugular throbbing madly under his sweaty skin.

«We’re packed, » Basti points out with a chuckle, but Lukas stops his laughter by putting a finger on his lips.

«Shush, » he urges, leaning in to kiss him on the chest, reaching a nipple, taking it between his lips and sucking lightly, feeling it harden against his tongue.

Basti smells so good. Lukas could come only from that, even more than from the friction of his hard dick rubbing against the other’s ass, or the light tickle on his fingers now that Bastian has taken two of them in his mouth and is sucking them obscenely.  

«Lukas, come on, » his best friend murmurs, letting go of the fingers, «I can’t wait anymore. »  
He doesn’t reply, and bends a bit awkwardly to reach for Bastian’s jacket pocket – he knows he’s going to find what he’s looking for in it.  
When he lets two lube-slicked fingers breach his best friend’s entrance, Bastian moans quietly and squeezes his eyes closed.  
«Fuck, » he groans impatiently, thrusting his hips forward and arching his back from the pleasure. He’s so beautiful. «I want you inside. »  
Lukas doesn’t think about it twice. He takes a deep breath and thrusts his dick into Bastian carefully – he doesn’t want to hurt him -, letting the air out of his lungs once he’s completely inside. Then he kisses him. It’s reassuring, almost tender, it’s the kiss a groom would give his bride – it means _You’re beautiful_ and _I care for you_ and also _I love you, Basti, I love you._

It’s Bastian that starts moving, riding him with increased speed, and his hot body clenching around his cock is the most beautiful thing Lukas has ever experienced in his life.

He looks at his best-friend’s face, at his flushed cheeks and his almost obscenely swollen mouth. He watches as his green eyes go wide open when he thrusts more deeply and hits _that spot_ which makes Bastian moan the loudest. He knows the feeling well, he experienced it those times they did it the other way round, with Bastian taking him and making him go crazy with pleasure that way.

Bastian seems to read his mind, as he bends a bit and his fingers are entering him, while Lukas’ hands start to jerk him off violently. Lukas moans at the sudden intrusion, it hurts a bit - it’s been too long since the last time. However, pain is soon replaced by a deep pleasure, so deep that Lukas is coming, is coming, is.

He comes violently, shaking from the intensity of it, and sinks his nails into Basti’s back, engraving an _I love you_ he will never say out loud.

And while Bastian comes all over their stomachs, Lukas holds him tight - his skin pale and warm and sweaty – and covers his lips with an impetuous kiss. He steals from time yet another moment, the last robbery of the day. However, this time he keeps his eyes closed and relishes the mix of their scents tangled together, the hard softness of Basti’s skin against his own, the clipped melody of their ragged breaths in the silence of the night.

He doesn’t think about the mess they’ll have to clean up in a few minutes; about Basti’s rage over the bruises he has painted on his pale skin, signs he cannot explain to Sarah in any way. He doesn’t think about how he will feel after Bastian is gone, how he will look at the flowers and delude himself into thinking that Bastian has bought them for him, that they are actually together and he will find his face on the pillow beside him waking up in the morning.

He doesn’t think about anything, and feels happy inside.

*

(Some hours later, Bastian Schweinsteiger is driving his expensive car on the way to Munich. He still smells of sex, and keeps asking himself what right he has to interfere with the life of someone who left him behind many years ago. Someone that has a girlfriend and a son, someone that could shut the door in his face so easily and yet keeps receiving him every time with a smile ( a smile that doesn’t belong to Bastian, even though he keeps stealing it and hiding it at the bottom of his heart. )

He feels guilty and about to throw up, he’s looking forward to come back home. A small sob escapes his lips, anyway, as he realizes that his home is not in Munich, or in Kolbermoor, or in any other place where he lived, but that his soul moved in with Lukas, in Cologne, a long time ago.)

 

  

 

 


End file.
